Should You Put Your Needs Ahead of the Needs of Your Team?
Teamwork is a foundation in many companies. It allows members to become more than they could by themselves. Each team member has strengths that add to the cohesion of the entire group. But, is there a time when you have to stand out and put your needs ahead of the team?
The fact that each team member has strengths greater than the team itself implies that you will need to show those strengths. Therefore, you will need to stand out. You will showcase your abilities which gives you an advantage at that point in time. It will also reinforce why you matter to the team. Therefore, you should put your needs ahead of the needs of the team, in the right circumstance.
However, there’s a difference between showcasing your talents and being a hotdog. While hogging up attention may work in pro sports, it has no place in the team environment at your work. Even in pro sports, teams who work as a unit tend to do better in the long run, all things being equal.
Team members are often afraid to show weaknesses in the team environment. However, when you let your team members know that you have them, they may be able to help you overcome them. In a sense, overcoming your weaknesses is a need just like any other. Therefore, as long as you show a willingness to make a change, put your weaknesses out there for the team to see. Once you turn those weaknesses into strengths, the entire team benefits.
Sometimes, you may have to consider your needs even if they run counter to the team. For instance, if you are getting lost in the shuffle by being part of a particular team, you may have to seek alternatives.
The first step is to discuss your situation with your manager and see if there is a possible solution before you move on. Developing a great team dynamic can take a long time, so don’t take this situation lightly.
If you move on, you will have to start over with a new team.
If you work alone in a small business environment, you still have to consider your needs. You deal with suppliers and customers. They will have demands on your time. If you cater to them and don’t consider your needs, you will get just as lost as if you were part of a larger group.
Do You Suffer from the Martyr Syndrome?
Martyrs in history are considered by their followers to be heroes. They gave up their lives with the hope of helping future generations to live better. It occasionally helps to remind people what they went through during their lives.
That is different from the martyr syndrome. This condition is when you think of everyone but yourself. However, you are sure to let them know about it. You make them feel guilty about the fact that you give everything up for them. The condition is real and requires some people to seek professional help.
The trouble with having the martyr syndrome is that you will alienate people after a while. People will start to avoid you, or they will simply ignore you. It’s the idea of crying wolf. You go overboard when trying to make others feel guilty to the point where they no longer feel it.
Often, if you are a martyr, you may feel as though others should know what you are feeling. That causes you to become angry when they don’t. The fact is, most people don’t read minds so, you should stop expecting this.
There are ways to get over your martyr syndrome. The first is to recognize that you have it. You may want to ask family and friends if you show signs of the condition. That won’t be easy to hear, especially if you’ve been going through it for a while.
Once you do identify with the syndrome, the biggest way to get over it is to put yourself first. Set aside some time for yourself and give over to some pampering. The more you do this, the less you will be able to make others feel guilty. It won’t make sense because you are thinking of yourself at that point.
The martyr syndrome can happen at work, too. You may be taking on too much work which you should share with your colleagues. You may then use this fact against them, and try to make them feel the guilt of you taking on all the work while they relax. However, if you don’t speak up about it from the start, they aren’t going to complain about you taking on that extra work.
You need to let people know what you are feeling both at home and at work. If you don’t, you will continue to suffer from the martyr syndrome, and this can have a serious negative psychological impact on your mental state.How to Assume a Leadership Role
Becoming a leader takes courage and dedication. There’s a reason why people say it’s lonely at the top. You will make decisions that will not always be popular. But, if they coincide with your organization’s goals, you should feel comfortable making them.
Leadership is about more than just barking orders, however. You need to show others that you put your needs first. It’s a balance, and you have to know when to consider other people’s needs. However, you become a leader when you set the stage for others. That requires having your needs met.
You’ll need confidence and have conviction about your position as the leader. When you do, people will respect you and will be more understanding when making decisions that aren’t popular. When that confidence shines through, they will follow you anywhere.
You should also be forthcoming when your decisions don’t pan out. Everyone makes mistakes. In fact, these are the times when you discover solutions that you wouldn’t have found, had you not made a mistake. That is powerful, too. If you can convey to the people you lead that errors are part of decision making, they will forgive the mistakes that you make. In fact, they will see that it’s a part of the process of finding the right solutions.
Don’t be afraid to follow other leaders who you admire. They can teach you by you simply observing what they do and how they speak to others. You will find they too put their own needs ahead of the needs of everyone else. However, they also know when others need nurturing and will put their needs aside.
Another reason to put your needs ahead of others is that you are responsible for the decisions. You will have to answer to people higher than you. If you were to cater to everyone else’s needs, you would flip-flop on your decisions, and your leadership role will melt away. You won’t get the respect you deserve, and your management will eventually notice this as a problem.
You should never be cruel when dealing with others and you should consider their feelings when making decisions. However, you can and should be firm. That will be crucial when you get pushbacks from the people you lead. You should listen to what they have to say. They will have insight that you may not be aware of and it can change the landscape.
But, it is still your decision in the end.
How to Fight for What Is Yours
Everyone has needs which at some point will collide with others. In such cases, you may need to fight for what is rightfully yours. These are some ways to handle the situation and hopefully not get too overheated or out of hand.
Always be respectful of others’ feelings. There is nothing wrong with fighting for what you deserve.
However, you should keep in mind that others are going to try to fight for themselves. That could cause you to become angry with them and possibly say something disrespectful in the heat of the moment. Try to remain calm and remember that the other people are trying to get the same as you.
Along those lines, always present your case based on the facts. Don’t introduce false information to try and sway the decision makers to your side. When you have the facts on your side, you can simply reference them and where you found them.
Try to anticipate any counter-arguments from others fighting for what you want. Be prepared, and you will know what to say when they present those arguments. It’s important to make those cases based on facts as mentioned before. When you anticipate what they might say, you will be able to prepare an answer ahead of time.
Never revert to name calling and don’t make the situation personal. In most cases, what you are fighting for has little to do with peoples’ personalities. Therefore, it has no place in the discussion. For instance, you may be vying for a promotion at work. That should be based entirely on merit in most circumstances. If you start attacking on a personal level, it will likely backfire on you. It will make you look bad.
Let other people speak. If you interrupt people before they speak their minds, you may not get the full story. You can’t argue when you haven’t heard everything that someone is trying to say. Therefore, you will jump to conclusions that may not be correct. By allowing others to finish what they have to say, you can present a more appropriate argument. You should expect the same when you speak and ask that you not be interrupted.
Above all, try to remain calm throughout the process. People who stay calm exude confidence. That can strengthen your position when others are getting hotheaded. You will seem like the better person, and that could give you the advantage.Get Involved with Multiple Projects
You get involved with projects or hobbies because they can help you with your needs, and it puts the focus on you. Perhaps you want to learn a new skill. Taking on a project can help you learn. You can learn faster when you work with others who also want to learn. However, even when you learn something new, it may not work out to a better opportunity for you. The solution is to get involved with multiple projects.
You have more than one need to satisfy in your life. Therefore, you need to have multiple channels to satisfy those needs. These channels can help you find alternatives when one of them doesn’t work out.
Of course, you don’t want to bite off more than you can chew. There are only so many hours in a day. You also have other obligations to your work and your family. So, you can’t spend your entire waking hours focusing on activities. A good rule-of-thumb is to focus on two or three.
Don’t forfeit sleep for the sake of taking on more projects. Your body will tell you how much sleep you need, so listen to it. You won’t get any benefits out of the projects if you are tired and it will drag other aspects of your life down.
Another subtle benefit of working on multiple projects is finding opportunities open where you least expect them. You could be putting all your energy into one project that goes nowhere. However, you never know when you will meet with someone who can take you in an entirely different direction. But a route you are open to taking. That is much more likely to happen when you are involved in multiple projects.
If you feel like the projects you have undertaken are starting to overwhelm you, figure out which ones make the most sense to keep, and then discard the rest. You will be able to concentrate more of your energy on the ones you keep, which can help you excel at them.
Be prepared for when projects end. Figure out if you want to start up another one or if you need the time to relax. It is okay to relax. You need relaxation just as much as you need projects. It can be a low point when the project ends, so be aware of that fact.
If you keep in mind that you will start a new project soon that can be a way to handle any sorrow about the project ending.