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Self Improvement- Evaluating Last Year

Written By: docmac - Feb• 19•18

Get Ready To Evaluate the Last Year

Before you move forward with new goals, it’s important to evaluate the last year. You can gain valuable insights that can help you achieve your goals when you pause to reflect. But you have to approach this evaluation of the past 365 days with a special attitude.

This isn’t about making harsh judgements or fixating on failed projects.

Don’t use this time to mentally beat yourself up. You won’t gain anything valuable from shaming yourself for past mistakes.

Instead, focus on looking for patterns and trends that impacted your goals. It’s best to handle your evaluation as if you were reviewing a friend’s year. With the level of detachment this brings, you’ll be more open to learning from the process.

Choose the Right Environment

Make sure you begin your evaluation in a quiet, calm environment. If you’re trying to evaluate your year in between cooking dinner and helping the kids with homework, your picture of the last year may not be that clear and you may miss important realizations.

When it comes to your evaluation, you’ll want to do it in a quiet space. It can be helpful to play soft instrumental music or to turn on a white noise machine. This allows you to get into a relaxed frame of mind.

Limit Interruptions

You may also want to silence your phone and log off of social media.

The constant dings from your cell and social sites can be distracting and you may find it difficult to get back on track after an interruption.

It’s also important to pick the best time of day to do your review. If you’re a morning person, then you may be too exhausted at the end of your day to give your full attention to the year’s evaluation. You should to try to schedule your review during a time when you feel alert and energized.

Take Your Time

Keep in mind that you can break your review up into smaller chunks of time. You don’t have to dedicate five hours out of your day to this project.

You can choose to break your sessions up instead. Many people find that one hour sessions are best. It gives you plenty of time to reflect on your year without causing you to feel overwhelmed.

If you find doing your year’s evaluation difficult or complicated, it might be best to get help from a good coach. Your coach can help you approach your year in review with a positive attitude. With a coach’s guidance, you’ll be able to identify the lessons that you’ve learned in the past 365 days.

Journal Your Thoughts

1. Have you found a quiet environment where you can review your past year?
2. Have you set aside the time for your evaluation? Is this a time when you’ll feel energized and alert?
3. Have you decided to stay detached from your evaluation so you can be open to the lessons you’re about to learn?

Looking Back at What Worked

It’s time to look back at your year. Approaching your review with a positive attitude is important because it helps you to see your accomplishments clearly.

If you’ve overwhelmed and don’t know where to start your year’s review, consider asking yourself these questions:

What saved you time?

You may have saved time by outsourcing certain tasks, like bookkeeping or content creation. Take a look at what you outsourced this past year and how it helped your productivity.

You also might have saved time by developing systems to handle your work more effectively. For example, if you’re a coach, you may have moved to an online scheduler that allows clients to book sessions with you during your available hours. This means that instead of scheduling every appointment yourself, you’re able to devote your time to more important tasks.

What made the most money?

Examine the different branches of your business and see which ones made you the most money. Did your web design package prove to be a big income generator? Did your new product bring you a flood of new customers?
Knowing which activities are making you money is important. You don’t want to invest your New Year into tasks that aren’t growing your business.

What created the greatest amount of personal pleasure?

Now it’s time to look through the year’s projects and evaluate them in a different light. You want to focus on the ones that made you happy.

Ask yourself why you felt happy when you worked on these projects. Did you get to tap into a skill you’ve always wanted to use? Did you discover a talent you didn’t know you had? Whatever your reason why, make sure you write it down so you can remember it later.

What relationships developed that you’re excited about and why?

Growing your online community is done one relationship at a time. That’s why it can be helpful to review your relationships over the past year.

Did you become friends with another business owner that you might want to partner with later on? Did you hear from several customers that love what you’re doing and want to beta test your next project? Make a list of the new relationships you’ve developed and why they matter to you.

What positive breakthroughs did you make that have impacted your mindset for the better?

As you’re evaluating your past year, reflect on your mindset. How is it different now? Did you experience a mindset breakthrough that changed the direction of your life? Did you invest in learning more about mindset and how it affects your business?

Think of your twelve-month review as a great way to dig up your past. You might just find a few golden nuggets that will help you in the coming year.

Journal Your Thoughts

1. Which projects brought you the most personal pleasure?
2. What relationships have you developed that you’re about? Why?
3. What positive breakthroughs did you make that have impacted your mindset for the better?

Be Honest About What Didn’t Work

You’ve carefully delved into the past year and found the positive moments. You celebrated your wins, embraced your favorite projects, and taken a look at what activities made you a nice profit. But now it’s time to step back and discover what didn’t work.

During this phase of your New Year evaluation, it’s important to remember that you aren’t judging yourself. What you’re judging are your projects. Just because a project failed that doesn’t make you a failure.

What projects flopped in the past year?

Did you try something new this year that didn’t work out? Maybe you tried Kindle publishing only to sell ten copies of your e-book. Maybe you launched a project that your community wasn’t enthusiastic about.
If a project failed, you need to identify it and consider why it failed. Maybe you didn’t spend enough time marketing your new Kindle e-book. Maybe you didn’t listen to your community’s needs and that’s why your project flopped. Acknowledging your failure is the first step to learning from it.

What did you invest time and money into that gave you the least return in profit?

Every project requires energy and attention from you. Are you nurturing projects that are sick and dying? These projects will often give you every little in return for all your effort. It might be that you have a blog that you’re still trying to get traffic to after months or even years. It might be that you’re still updating your course on web design even though no one’s buying it.

You have to examine the projects that are siphoning time and money from your business. Is there another healthier branch of your business that you could invest your time and money into?

What tasks or projects did you find yourself dreading?

Most business owners have at least one or two tasks on their plate that they don’t enjoy. Perhaps you hate designing graphics for your blog or you dread coming up with fresh content for your podcast every week. Make a list of tasks that you don’t enjoy. Look them over and ask yourself if you can drop or outsource some of these projects.

Are there people in your space that you feel unenthusiastic about?

Not every business partner or client is going to be a good fit for your business. Maybe you originally took on a client because you needed to pay the bills but now you make enough that you don’t have to worry about that. Perhaps you’ve been business partners with another entrepreneur who’s now going in a different direction than you are.

No matter the relationship, it’s important that you take time to consider why you no longer enjoy working with this person and what you can do about it. It might be time to let that demanding client go so you can embrace one that you’re enthusiastic about serving. It might be time to say goodbye to your business partner and find a new one to work with.

Keep in mind that you are more than your ideas. You are a human being on a quest for your dreams. If you approach this part of the evaluation with this in mind, then you’ll be able to learn as much from your failures as you have from your successes.

Journal Your Thoughts

1. What projects flopped in the past year?
2. What did you invest time and money into that gave you the least return in profit?
3. What tasks or project did you find yourself dreading?

What Were You Hoping For That Didn’t Happen?

It’s time to think back to the beginning of last year. You were probably reviewing your year and dreaming new dreams. You may have felt hopeful that this would be the year you would finally succeed. You may have been determined to accomplish your goals no matter what.

But no matter how hard you may have worked, some things just didn’t happen. Let’s examine why you didn’t meet some of your goals and what you can do about that.

What didn’t you accomplish?

First, you need to make a list of what you didn’t accomplish. Did you set big income goals or plan to travel to a different country? Did you want to publish a book or speak live at an event? Were you looking for a new business partnership?

What goals were you enthusiastic about?

Once you have a list of what you didn’t accomplish, you need to review the goals that you did accomplish last year. What made some goals stand out for you? Why did you prioritize some goals over others? If you had the year to do over again, would you still choose the same priorities?

Did you really want to accomplish these things?

Before you go any further, you need to look over your list of failed goals.

Did you really want to meet that goal or did you add it to your list because you felt pressured to do so? For example, maybe a lot of your friends started a weight loss program and you set a ‘lose weight’ goal simply because you wanted to be included.

It’s important to remember that it’s OK to let go of goals that you never wanted in the first place. By releasing these goals, you open more room in your life to pursue the goals that really matter to you.

What contributed to other goals slipping by without your full effort?

After you’ve reviewed your list and let go of the goals you didn’t care about, you should take a long look at why you didn’t put your full effort into the remaining goals that you wanted to accomplish. Were you so overwhelmed that you didn’t know where to start? Were you afraid of how accomplishing such a big goal could change your life?

You need to be honest with yourself about why you didn’t accomplish these goals. Remember that it’s easy to dream a big goal and write it down. But it can be tough to break it down into actionable steps. That’s where a good business coach or a trusted mentor can help you.

Once you’ve completed this step, it’s time to look at the upcoming year. You’re now ready to come up with fresh, hopeful dreams for your future.

Journal Your Thoughts

1. What didn’t you accomplish in the past year?
2. Why did you set these goals? Did you really want to achieve them?
3. What contributed to these goals slipping by without your full effort?

Create A Framework For A More Awesome New Year

You’ve spent some time carefully evaluating last year. You’ve mined the previous year for valuable lessons and paid attention to signs of trouble areas. Now, it’s time to tackle your New Year planning.

This is an exciting phase and you may be tempted to set the same goals again. You might tell yourself that this time you’ll really do it. Albert Einstein is loosely quoted as saying doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results is a sign of insanity. You need a new plan of attack or you’ll experience the same results you did last year.

It can be helpful to build a framework and use it to guide you this year based on what you’ve learned about yourself during your evaluations.

Do more of what worked.

If you’ve been following along, then you already have a list of projects that you enjoyed and that worked well for you last year. This year, focus on what you enjoyed about these projects and try to re-create that feeling with new projects. For example, if you discovered that you loved making videos last year, then maybe you’ll incorporate more videos into your business. Perhaps you could add videos to an existing course and convert it into a video course.

Do less of what you dreaded.

The projects you work on should light you up. They should make you shine and give you a sense of pride. If you have projects from the last year that you hated, look at ways you can do less of them. Maybe you learned that you don’t enjoy offering group coaching because you prefer to offer one-on-one help. You should aim to move away from services and products that aren’t enjoyable to you.

Do more of what created profit.

Look at the projects that brought in the most profit for you last year. Usually, these are the projects you enjoyed the most and felt passionate about. You want to fill your New Year with more projects that made you money.

Do less of what sucked time and money.

Sometimes, we work on projects because we think we have to. It might be that someone told you that the best way to make money online was to do ABC.

It might be that you started offering a certain service because you need the experience when you were first starting out.

Whatever your reason, you have permission to let go of the projects that suck your time, your money, or your joy. If you offer a service you’re ready to retire or if you’re still offering a course that no longer fits with your business, set an end date.

Then let your customers know about this end date. Explain that you won’t be offering this course/service/product after your chosen date.

You can give yourself and your business a great gift by hiring a coach for the New Year. Pick a coach that has achieved success in area that you’d like to be successful in, too. For the best fit, look for a coach that shares your life values.

You can talk with your coach about what you’ve learned in the last year and invite him or her to partner with you during this year’s journey.

Journal Your Thoughts

1. What goals are you enthusiastic about achieving this year?
2. What are you going to do differently in your business this year? Why are you doing it differently?
3. Where are you going to be focusing most of your time and energy this year?

5 Tips for Helping You Achieve Anything You Want in Life

Written By: docmac - Feb• 11•18

5 Tips for Helping You Achieve Anything You Want in Life

Have you ever thought about how it would feel to be able to achieve anything you want during your lifetime? Would you like to be able to travel wherever you wanted or get any qualification you put your mind to? Achieving anything you want in life definitely isn’t easy, but it is possible if you have the right mindset.

1. Focus on the journey, not the destination
Of course you want to arrive at the destination eventually, but if that’s all you ever focus on, you’ll take all the fun out of your life and become very stressed about what you’re trying to achieve. While you’re studying, working hard or concentrating on achieving your goals, enjoy every second of it and create many memories.

2. Don’t compare yourself to other people
Goals that force you to try and become better than everybody else are never good goals to make. While you might become the best in the world, trying to achieve this without thinking about other things as well can become very draining. Don’t compare yourself to other people and try to become better or achieve the same thing within a shorter time frame.

3. Know when to be tough
Don’t hate yourself when you fall down or need to step up and try again, but be tough on yourself when you need to be. If you know you’re not working as hard as you could be in order to achieve your goals, push yourself.

4. Don’t rely on anybody else
You shouldn’t rely on other people to help you achieve what you want to achieve in life. At the end of the day, you are accountable for your own actions and your own goals, and if you don’t achieve them, nobody else is going to suffer because of it. If somebody else isn’t doing well or achieving their goals, don’t use this as an excuse to fall behind. You can still achieve everything you want without relying on other people.

5. Don’t burn out
When you work very hard, you put yourself at risk of burning yourself out. This is something that you should be aware of from the start and should seek to protect yourself from. When your body and mind burns out, you won’t be able to achieve anything, so staying away from this is the most important thing to remember.

Time Management Tips to Help You Reach Your Goals

Written By: docmac - Feb• 11•18

Time Management Tips to Help You Reach Your Goals

One of the most valuable abilities that you can have in life is efficient and powerful time management skills.

If your not able to manage your time well, you will have no chance of reaching the goals you set throughout your life.

If you are serious about achieving your goals, you have to find a way to avoid distractions and improve your time management abilities.

Here are several time management tips that can help you to reach your goals.

Set Goals the Right Way

If you don’t set your goals the right way, you’ll continually fail to achieve them.

You will lack the proper targets which will force you to fall off track.

Using the S.M.A.R.T goal setting method, you will be able to see things through and begin reaching your goals.

Eliminate Bad Habits

One of the biggest time-wasters you’ll face will be your own bad habits. No matter what your bad habits are, they will efficiently take precious time away from working toward accomplishing your goals.

If you’re serious about achieving big goals in your life, you have to eliminate your bad habits.

Meditate or Exercise Every Morning

You may be wondering how meditating or exercising every morning is going to help you improve your time management skills.

Participating in these activities helps to bring balance to your life.

As you begin to cut the toxins out of your life, you’ll start to notice your energy increasing and your mental focus drastically shifting.

Create a To-Do List Every Night

Before you go to bed at night, you need to create a to-do list for the next day.

Take a look at your goals and see what you can do to help you move closer to accomplishing them.

By making a to-do list, you are effectively setting goals to accomplish the following day. Daily goals are easier to achieve and will help move you toward reaching your bigger goals.

Declutter and Organize

When your environment is cluttered studies have shown that you lose focus on your tasks.

When you lose focus, you lose time. To avoid this, take some time to declutter your environment and organize.

You can start small and build your momentum until you have become completely organized.

If you want to achieve your goals in life, it is important for you to be able to manage your time.

These tips can help you get on the right path to becoming a time management superstar and helping you to finally accomplish all your goals.

How to Stay Motivated to Reach Your Goals

Written By: docmac - Feb• 11•18

How to Stay Motivated to Reach Your Goals

Being able to achieve the goals you set is not always easy.

This is why it is incredibly important to be able to stay motivated to get what you want in the long term.

In today’s hectic world, it can be even more challenging to stay focused on reaching your goals.

If you are looking for things you can do to help you stay motivated to achieve your goals here are several tips to consider.

Make Sure Your Goals are Yours

One of the most significant challenges in staying motivated and sticking to your goals is making sure that the goals you’ve set for yourself are ones that you truly want to attain.

Often our goals are reflections of what others think we should do, rather than what we truly want to achieve. Make sure you are setting goals for things that make you happy and are ones that you want to accomplish.

Visualize the Results

It is important to clearly visualize the results you want in order to stay motivated in reaching your goals. When you visualize the results, you want to think about how it will feel to reach your goals and what it will look like when you finally achieve them.

Visualizing your goals will be what keeps you going through setbacks and challenges.

Tap into Other Peoples Positive Energy

Surrounding yourself with positive thinkers who emanate positive energy is important to staying motivated in reaching your goals.

Humans give and receive energy and inspiration, by surrounding yourself with the positive energy of others you will ensure you are receiving more than you are handing out.

Get Organized

Not only should you organize and declutter your environment, but you should take time to organize your thoughts as well.

Having an unorganized mind and environment will quickly zap your motivation and energy.

Begin creating a to-do list to keep your thoughts organized and schedule specific times to complete each task.

Stop Worrying About What You Cannot Control

When it comes to staying motivated in reaching your goals, it is important to take control of what you can, and stop worrying about what you can’t.

If you tend to play the “what if” game you will never reach your goals. The best thing you can do is let go of the things you can’t control and start focusing on producing quality work.

Staying motivated to reach your goals is something that you can accomplish.

Following these tips and keeping your end goal in mind will keep you excited and motivated and allow you to achieve anything you want.

Power of Focus

Written By: docmac - Feb• 10•18

Harness The Power Of Focus

It doesn’t matter whether you’re just another cog in the wheel or the CEO.

Your thought process can influence those around you as can your actions, and it’s up to you whether you choose to embrace failure or strive for success. Like most people, you probably often come up with great ideas on how to correct negative patterns.

Unfortunately, those brilliant ideas get pushed aside because of everything else going on. You struggle to multi-task your way through the day and wonder why nothing ever changes.

This is where the power of focus comes in.

Without focus, life and work can become very disorganized.

If you see something that can (or should be), be changed for the good then give it your focus. Tell your team, your boss, the organization, the family, that this is going to be your focus. If you plan on shifting your focus to improving communication within the company then you need to ensure it’s brought up in each and every meeting that you attend, it should feature on your goals, and you should have a plan in place that is measurable.

Once you do this, you will suddenly realize that you are far more sensitive to the problems that others are experiencing.

Why?

It isn’t because those issues are increasing, it’s because you have harnessed the power of focus and you are truly hearing what others are saying. If you have the right mindset then you will be encouraged by the progress.

Achieving True Focus

Can you think of a time you’ve been incredibly focused on something?

A strange thing happens… suddenly the typical obstacles standing in your way mean nothing to you as you close in on your goal, you are hyper-aware of everything around you, but your focus is unshaken. No matter the obstacle, you find a way to overcome it because you are so locked onto that target at the end of the long road that you view everything through a different lens.

Are you looking to improve your focus and avoid distractions and procrastination?

Try these strategies:

• Take Time Out To Get Some Perspective
You may sometimes be in need of a reality check, but who you turn to for it is an important decision. You want to speak to someone who is supportive, willing to talk tough, and invested in success. That may be your partner, mentor, or a straight-shooting friend. No matter who it is, you need people like this on your side.

• Focus On Those Positives
We are all guilty of getting caught up in something that is going wrong even though everything else is going right. In moments like this, it’s important to grab hold of the positives. So, take time out to create a list of everything that is going well to realign your focus where it belongs.

• Know When To Take Action
Allowing your focus to move away from the right target often invites negative emotions and leaves you feeling overwhelmed. Take action to take control power and empower yourself, whether it’s inviting someone in to collaborate or employing the help of an assistant. Don’t allow those feelings to fester, when you identify them take action to mitigate them.

• Practice The Art Of Self-Care
There is nothing more important to your focus than self-care. When you are exhausted, stressed out or hungry you aren’t going to be performing at your best. You may have noticed that you’re fighting fit when you’ve had a good night’s sleep, you’re eating well and exercising often. These are acts of self-care that will keep you healthy, focused, and resilient.

Staying Motivated By Having Fewer Goals

Written By: docmac - Feb• 10•18

Why Having Fewer Goals Makes it Easier to Stay Motivated

Have you ever decided to change your life?

Maybe it was after a major event in your life, or possibly close to New Years Day, but you knew it was time to make changes.

The first thing you probably did was make a list of all of the things you wanted to change, no matter how many there were.

You also probably planned to work on them all at once. This approach seems to be the most natural because most people are impatient, but it’s not the most effective.

It’s hard to sustain motivation for many goals at once, but sustaining motivation is the most important factor in achieving your goals.

Because of this, having fewer goals to work on at the time will make it easier to stay motivated long enough to reach your goals.

Your success depends on your ability to prioritize your goals and manage your motivation while working toward them.

Having fewer goals makes it easier to stay motivated because you can only focus on so many things at once.

It’s easy to over estimate what can be accomplished, but it’s important to learn how to dial it back and prioritize your most important goals over others.

The more focused you are on a goal, the greater your chance of success.

Also, the fewer goals you have, the more you can focus your energy, time, and other resources toward achieving that goal. It’s not easy to choose your most important goals, but it’s worth the effort.

We are all given the same amount of time in each day, and we have to plan our lives based on the same 24 hours that everyone else has.

We all have to allow time for each task we plan to do each day.

Basic needs are similar for everyone, but after that, we choose how our time is spent.

The only problem with that is you have to decide what is important and then make sure you spend your time doing the things that matter to you.

If you set too many goals at once, you won’t have time to achieve all of them and you’ll probably feel like you’re spinning your wheels and not achieving anything.

Working toward fewer goals at the time will allow you to spend more time on each one, and you’ll be more likely to be successful.

Even if you have time to put toward many goals at once, you might not have the mental and physical energy it takes to achieve them.

We can do only so much before our minds and bodies need to rest and refuel.

Spreading yourself too thin can wreak havoc on your energy levels, and can cause you to fail at reaching one or more of your goals.

Be honest with yourself about what you have the energy for. Think about all of your obligations and the limits you have with your time and energy already, and then choose what goals to pursue first. What do you really have the energy for?

It’s easy to over commit when it comes to setting goals for ourselves because it’s easy to over estimate what we’re capable of doing.

We don’t want to think of our own limitations, but if you’re going to be successful you have to learn to do just that.

It’s a lot easier to maintain our motivation for fewer goals at the time because we have limited focus, time, energy, and other resources.

The fewer things you try to do at once, the better you can do each one, and the greater your chance of success.

The Key To Success Is Self Discipline

Written By: docmac - Feb• 10•18

Why Self-Discipline Is Key To Success

For every act of self-discipline, there is a reward. I suppose in one way that’s the beauty of life, for if you sow so should you reap.

If you act honestly, fairly, and with patience for others you will receive rewards in multiples. If you give more often than you expect to gain in return then your reward will always be more than expected.

There is a key word here, though, and that is discipline and the rewards aren’t instant.

The Slow Process Of Success

Everything in life that is of value will require your attention, due care, and an ounce of discipline.

Whether it’s your actions or your thoughts, we act with discipline.

It can be a challenge to practice discipline, though, and the biggest reason for that is that the entire concept is built around delayed gratification.

Initially, there will be no gratification nor will there be any results to view. It requires the repetition of the correct behaviors until eventually, they pay dividends.

Self-discipline isn’t glamorous either, which is why people often give up and move on instead of getting their head down and working at it.

For example, when applying a new marketing strategy in business it’s going to require persistence.

It won’t be exciting to repeat the same tasks required to maintain a presence within the market, but it is a necessary part of achieving success.

Additionally, you may hate the idea of being on every conference call that crops up, but that behavior is one that you must engage in and endure if your job requires teamwork and interaction.

Self-discipline isn’t always getting the glamorous tasks or exercising the best bits of your imagination, it is often the most mundane activities.

There may be nothing fun about a large amount of research or carrying out training, but these are simple acts of self-discipline that further you in your career (or life). Sure, drinking beer with your friends is far more fun than getting up off the couch and hitting the gym, but only one of those is an act of self-discipline, which will help you achieve the success you yearn for.

It is in the accumulation of these mundane jobs that you eventually reach the level of success that you have been chasing.

To achieve that success you will often need to shift your priorities to fall in line with the priorities of others. It may require you pushing your pride aside and channeling your passion and energy into understanding your priorities so that you can get the right balance in life.

It’s impossible to achieve success when you don’t have your priorities right. That stands for whatever it is you’re chasing – if you want to be a successful romantic partner then your priorities should reflect that, just as your priorities should reflect your want to further your career if that’s what you strive for.

The Ultimate Commitment

Learning self-discipline is not only the key to your success; it is also the key to unlocking who you are as a person.

It is the biggest commitment you can make in your journey to success.

Self-discipline is committing yourself to making the necessary contributions to whatever it is you are chasing.

You have to be dedicated to these duties and think of them as labors of love as opposed to chores. They may be a lot of little things, but those little things add up to one great, big thing and that is your success.

In that success you will find that your ability to practice self-discipline hasn’t just contributed to your success, it has also grown your character.

Building Self-Confidence

Written By: docmac - Jan• 29•18

Building Self-Confidence

There are so many ways we limit our self-confidence without even knowing it. The first step we need to take in building self-esteem is to be honest with ourselves in every area.

Tony Robbins asks the question,

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”

Implied in that question are many more questions about all the ways you are limiting yourself in order to protect yourself from the possibility of failing.

You do this by side-stepping the truth.

For instance,

How are you limiting your dreams?

Are you avoiding people or situations that challenge you?

Do you honestly assess your own true needs?

Do you choose to do only things that don’t challenge you?

Do you tell yourself, “I don’t care” when you really do?

Do you say “yes” to everything that everyone asks of you?

Do you ever renegotiate your agreements with others?

Are you always choosing smaller, safer dreams and actions because they are safer? When we achieve our smaller dreams at the expense of the larger ones and tell ourselves that we’re successful, we’re lying to ourselves and cheating ourselves out of the life we could have.

Normal, healthy fear is a good thing, but letting your fear rob you of your dreams is not.

The fear exists because you’re trying something new and stretching yourself.

That’s human and natural for just about everyone. It’s not a sign of weakness.  Letting the fear stop you from going forward is the mistake most people make. Acknowledging the fear and going forward anyway is the way dreams are achieved.

Real self-confidence is not a lack of fear. It comes from trusting yourself in spite of your fear. See your dreams as bigger than your fears.

Many children were raised in homes where they received a lot of criticism and not much praise. Parents thought they were creating well-behaved, humble children. A good thing, right? Well…not necessarily.

One result of that treatment can be lack of confidence.

There’s a difference between having a big ego and self-confidence.

Self-confidence means you believe in yourself.

A big ego means that you have to prove you’re better than everyone else. That’s a huge distinction.

We all know braggers – people who name drop or can’t help slipping in information about their accomplishments or how much money they make.

This is not a sign of self-confidence or superiority.

It is an attempt to compensate for feelings of low self esteem.

When people have to broadcast how wonderful they are, they’re are really telling you, loudly and clearly, how unconfident they feel.

In fact, the bragging is an attempt to convince not just you, but also themselves. These are inauthentic people trying to compensate for their feelings of powerlessness.

Now for the good news!

Increasing your self-confidence will not give you a big ego.

It will increase your integrity and strength along with your joy and self-love.

You can start to increase your self-confidence as soon as you take the first step toward achieving one of your dreams because you’ll know that you’re honoring your commitment to yourself. The more steps you take, the more your self-confidence will grow because you are taking action. With each action you take, the more your fear will diminish and your confidence will grow.

When you begin to trust in your own integrity, you will begin to connect with infinite personal power.

In ÒYou Can Work Your Own MiraclesÓ, Napoleon Hill discusses the growth of his own self-confidence that occurred when, totally unprepared,  he started working for Andrew Carnegie. He said that, instead of revolting or shivering with fear, he started looking for the seed of an equivalent benefit that always is carried in every circumstance of adversity.

We can all benefit from applying this tactic to our circumstances.

Focusing on the benefits takes our focus off the fears we feel so we can more easily take action.

Hill said that throughout his life, whether changes had been voluntary or involuntary, good or bad, he wasn’t afraid. He knew that, while he might not have control over the circumstances, he had control over his reaction to those circumstances.

He believed that we are where we are and what we are because of our daily habits.

He began to challenge his own thinking and actions and changed them from ones that had led to failure to those of mastery. He has left us some of the greatest books on self-confidence ever written.

Another type of dishonesty that sets us up for failure is saying “yes” to too many people and overextending ourselves.

Your intention is to make them happy and gain their approval.

The reality is that you spread yourself too thin and end up breaking some of your commitments or not delivering at the level you know you could.

Your first agreement needs to be with yourself.

When you overextend yourself and break that agreement, you pay the price of loss of self-esteem, loss of self-trust, loss of self-respect, confusion, exhaustion, and loss of others’ trust.

Remember, all of your agreements are with yourself. Take them seriously. Only make agreements you plan to keep. Write them down and renegotiate them when necessary even if you’re afraid that some others might not like it.

The great payoff in this is that you will begin to trust your own intuition, heart, and mind.

This is the beginning of owning your own life and true self-confidence.

 

What Is Self Confidence

Written By: docmac - Jan• 29•18

What Is Self Confidence

Have you ever seen the joy and delight at being alive in a baby’s eyes and wondered how you lost that spark?

When you see someone who seems very self-confident, do you wonder what that person has that you don’t have?

Have you ever put off doing something you really want to do — writing a book or asking an appealing person out — until you feel better about yourself?

Are you successful in some ways but underneath still feel that you could be stronger and feel more confident?
This ebook will reveal how you can find so much confidence inside yourself that you will be able to be the person you have always wanted to be and do the things you most want to do.

You will learn what true self-confidence is and how to nurture yourself so that you stop the habits that sabotage you and start building the mindset that will grow your self-confidence.

So, what is that thing we think of as self-confidence? Most people think it’s based on the ability to do some things well. For instance, a salesperson might say, “I know I’m great at sales because I’m great at getting prospects’ attention, I know how to close a deal, and I make more sales than anyone else in my company.” A woman might say, “I know I’m beautiful because I can get any man to ask me out.”

The problem with that thinking is that whenever you’re not doing the thing you’re good at, you don’t feel confident. Nobody’s good at everything. In fact, the most accomplished people are only good at a few things. When the salesperson isn’t selling or the beautiful woman isn’t being asked out by a man, they don’t feel confident.

True self-confidence has to transcend what we do. Think about it. Have you ever accomplished something that took a lot of effort and made you feel proud, but you still felt less than confident about yourself in general? Maybe you got that college degree, or bought the house you wanted, or you’re making plenty of money…and there’s a feeling of disappointment because it doesn’t make you as happy or self-confident as you thought it would?

In psychology this feeling that we don’t really deserve what we’ve earned is described as the Imposter Phenomenon.  No matter how much you accomplish or acquire, it won’t satisfy you unless you have self-confidence on the inside. So, what’s missing?

True self-confidence has nothing to do with what you’ve accomplished and everything to do with your belief that you have the ability to do anything you want to do. It comes from the inside. It comes from trusting yourself and committing to yourself that you will do whatever is necessary and most desirable in your life. Whatever you are faced with in life, you will face and deal with. You will take action. You know that because you have made a commitment to yourself.

Self-confidence doesn’t depend on the outcome of those actions, but on your rock-solid faith in yourself to take the actions. Basing your self-confidence on positive results is setting yourself up to fail. The universe – all the people whose good responses you are depending on – can’t be depended on to give you the results you want at all times.

The irony is that the only one you can depend on to give you the results you want is you. You can count on yourself and your commitment to you. You will take action, and you will adjust that action as needed. That is the source of real self-confidence. Of course, every outcome won’t be what you’d like. That’s life, and that’s all right. Your confidence is based on who you are, not what you did. No one or no adverse outcome can take that away from you.

It makes sense, doesn’t it? After all, so much of life is about doing new things and being put in new situations where we have no expertise. Isn’t that what progress is all about? In addition, just because you did something well one time, does that mean you do it well again? Maybe, but maybe not! What you do know is that you’ll do everything necessary to do the best job you can. You’re committed to taking action and following through, whatever it takes. You might go through many stages, changes, and challenges, but you will go through them to the end.

It’s a simple explanation for something as mysterious as true self-confidence. But it’s the truth. Self-confidence comes from your commitment to yourself to take action and to follow through. Easy to understand, but not usually easy to do. The rest of this ebook tells you how to do it. Self-Confidence, Why We Don’t Have It?

What’s your reaction when you’re faced with doing something for the first time? If you’re asked to give a talk on something you don’t know much about, how do you feel? If you’re faced with an unexpected bill you don’t know how you’ll pay, what’s your first thought? If you’re asked to do something new at your job, what’s your reaction?

Excitement about a new challenge?
Fear that you won’t be able to do it?
Trust that you will do whatever it takes?

Is there something in your life that you would like to do right now? Are you afraid that you’ll procrastinate, or get sidetracked, or that you won’t finish it? Has this happened in the past? This is the point where you stopped trusting yourself, and stopped pushing past the obstacles and the fear.

You’ve probably heard about Thomas Edison’s thousand failed attempts to invent the light bulb and how he said, “That wasn’t failure since he had learned one thousand ways not to invent the light bulb.” That’s exactly the attitude that separates winners from quitters. All of the winners — those who eventually succeed — trust themselves to keep on going in spite of challenges and mistakes.

One of the secrets these winners share is that there are many failures on the road to success. We look at them after they’ve succeeded, and all we see is the final result, the success. We assume they have always been successful and even that there’s something special or miraculous about them that we don’t have. WeÕre waiting until we feel as confident as they seem before we begin. If there’s one formula for failure, that is it.

To do something, whatever the “thing” is that you want to do, you need to realize in advance that you’re starting from a place of not knowing what you’re doing and will make mistakes, probably lots of them. You might even be very bad at “it.” It’s OK, really. You have to look bad before you look good. That’s how it works. Ask yourself, “What’s the alternative.” Well, the alternative is doing only the things you know you can do well. Now, where’s the fun in that?

Are you procrastinating? Are you waiting to feel confident about doing something before starting? Sorry, but you will wait forever. Are you wanting to write a book but won’t go near the computer? Wanting to start a business but won’t leave the TV room? Are you waiting for the magic to happen that will take all the fear away and make you feel certain of success? The only magic is in not waiting for the magic and taking the first step in spite of the fear.

In fact, the longer you wait, the less confident you will feel. The more you procrastinate, the more your fear will grow.

Another sure way to sabotage your dreams is to put off feeling good about yourself until…sometime in the future. Have you every told yourself that you will have confidence

when you lose 15 pounds
when you have a girlfriend/boyfriend
when you’re out of debt
when you’ve finished school
and on and on and on…

There’s no problem with wanting to improve ourselves in any capacity. The problem is that this is conditional self-love and this attitude makes you feel bad about yourself until you’ve accomplished that task. Even worse, what usually happens is that, once you’ve achieved the first goal, you will probably come up with another one: “Oh, ok, I lost the 15 pounds, but what I really need is a boyfriend. Then, I’ll feel good about myself.”

Look at it this way. How would you feel about a boss who said, “I know I promised you a raise when you finished that project, but I need you to do this project now. Then I’ll give you the raise.” How about a boyfriend who said, “I know I said we’d get married this June, but we really need to wait until next June.” You’d probably be furious and start looking for another boss and another boyfriend! Rightly so, too. Can you see that this is the way you’re treating yourself? Every day! What’s happening is that you’re foregoing so much joy in the present by punishing yourself in an attempt to achieve goals.

In what ways are you sabotaging your own self-confidence? Here’s a question you need to ask yourself: “When do I feel really good about myself?” Take your time with this. Find as many answers to that question as you can. You might be surprised at all the answers you come up with.

Here’s what you can do. Instead of telling yourself, “I’ll like myself when…” replace it with “Right now, I really feel good about myself because…” Do that daily; every morning come up with as many answers as you can. When you honor yourself for who you are right now, you build on your self-confidence.

Self Confidence- Trusting Yourself Exercise

Written By: docmac - Jan• 29•18

Self Confidence- Trusting Yourself Exercise

Trusting Yourself Exercise

Take some time to think about the agreements you have made with yourself and others. Often, it’s easier to make them than keep them. When you break these agreements for whatever reason, your self-esteem and trust in yourself suffers. Make only agreements that you plan to keep. Write them down. Honor them and renegotiate them when necessary. Are you keeping and honoring your agreements?

 

Exercise for Defining What You Want

It’s hard to get what you haven’t acknowledged you want. Not knowing what you want leaves a vague uneasiness and feeling of lack.

Focus on what you want by asking these questions:

1. What do you want that you don’t have?
2. Why don’t you have it?
3. What is the fear that’s holding you back?
4. What’s the worst that could happen if you go for it?
5. What’s the best that could happen?
6. What’s the next step you could take to move closer to what you want?

The clearer you are about your goals, the more successful you will be, and the greater will be your self-confidence.